What Not to Say in The Bedroom

       It’s hot and sweaty... You and your significant other are in the midst of a passionate encounter. The bedroom is muggy, the sheets are drenched, and you are now wondering “”When will they finish?”

      Believe it or not, this awkward moment is common for lovers. Maybe you have already been satisfied by your attentive partner and don’t want to leave them high and dry. Perhaps this is round number 3 and you are a bit wore out. Suddenly you get the urge to speed things up with a bit of dirty of talk… Whatever you do, do not utter the words “Cum for me…” Those 3 little words can kill the mood faster than a dead vibrator… Or can it? Read on as Femi Toys explores the possible downside of being direct in asking your partner to “finish.”

The Dilemma:

      Being direct with this, even in your most sexiest voice, may cause your partner to overthink negatively about their recent performance. Especially if you did not orgasm yourself before asking them to complete their mission. They might wonder if you were even enjoying yourself at all. No one wants to be self conscious, especially in the bedroom. The moment you put focus on what it is they have not yet done, the harder it can become to do it. You take your partner out of the mood potentially crippling their ability to reach that euphoric state we call orgasm. Or what if your partner has stamina like an energizer bunny with no end in sight? You are thinking, “I have to say something or run the risk of being run ragged past my point of enjoyment.” Asking them to get there already can cause your partner to be not only put on the spot, but also force themselves to either finish quick or fake it. Faking is no fun at all. Trust us.


      You heard the saying “It’s not what you say it how you say it.” Instead of saying exactly what you want them to do, try saying something that implies that. Turn “I want you to cum” into “I want you to use me.” That was instantly sexier right? Using this approach takes pressure off the goal and helps your partner get excited on the mind tingling thought you just sent them into. We are against slavery 1000% here. But a willing sex slave.... If dirty talk is not your style, try distracting your significant other from paying attention to their body movements to focusing on you both in the moment. A passionate kiss to distract can be what brings what you both want.

In The End:

      For some, being straight up and asking them to finish can be just what they need. You just won’t know until you both talk about it! Communicating beforehand with your lover will open up the connection and allow you both to enjoy sex. Sometimes once you point out the end goal, it puts pressure and focus on the very thing you want. If you have had sex before you know it is hard to reach the peak if all you are doing is focusing on getting there. You have to get in and enjoy the ride, you’ll get there. Using some of the tips mentioned above can turn that awkward moment into the perfect moment. To get the most out of sex, be free, use toys, keep it safe fun and open.

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